20 And, behold, a woman, which was diseased with an issue of blood twelve years, came behind him, and touched the hem of his garment:
21 For she said within herself, If I may but touch his garment, I shall be whole.
22 But Jesus turned him about, and when he saw her, he said, Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole. And the woman was made whole from that hour.
I had been struggling with my faith in abundance over the year of 2015. I could always hear God speak to me but I would never call out to him as I should. I remember sitting in Church and the preacher did a sermon based on Matthew 9. At the time I was still letting outside factors control my faith in God and although I may have cried a little because the sermon touched me, I still did not fully understand. So I went on as normal, just as I always did. I found myself only going halfway with God most of the time, instead of giving him my full attention or faith in him. So time went on. Maybe a month later or so I went to Church, this time it was a different Church. The same exact sermon based on Matthew 9 was preached again. Something hit me then, I could tell God was trying to speak directly to me and that hearing this sermon twice wasn’t a coincidence. So at that time I decided to pray and call out to God. However, I still did not give him my full soul although it weighed on me not to. Once again time went on. Before long at different Churches, different times and different Preachers, I had heard this same exact sermon based upon this same Book in the Bible of Matthew 9. Sometime in 2015, I decided to rededicate my life to Christ. I felt as if this specific situation in the bible was calling out to me. But I strayed again. It is now December 2016 and sometime this year I have heard once again this same Book of Matthew and versus at least twice. Today on December 2 , 2016, as I randomly strolled youtube to watch a sermon, the sermon was once again on this same verse. This may seem redundant, it may even seem unbelievable. I cannot really explain the feelings that have come behind this. What I do know is that God really wanted me to understand what happened in Matthew 9 and relate it to my life. See in Matthew 9 there was a scorned woman with a past she wasn’t proud of. For so long her faith had been tested and waivered more times than not. There is a part in Matthew 9 that tells how many people passed by Jesus but he did not acknowledge their touch. However, when this woman only touched the hem of his clothing he turned around and asked who touched him. Now this is ironic being that anyone could have touched him but there was a transferring of invisible power and need that transferred from her to him. In her touch, he felt a woman who was broken and in need of his healing. She had just enough faith to reach out to him and when he did he told her that he would make her whole. Once I understood this story I realized it was my story. For God wanted me to reach out to him. At the time he knew all that I had gone through but he was waiting for me to make the first move to be healed. Each time I heard this sermon I prayed and I felt a sense of weight lift off me. Each time God removed another barrier that blocked my sight of him and each time I was made a little more whole. I want you to understand that God has not left you. He knows everything you have gone through, he knows you are in need of healing. If you are like me you have a sense of shame because of some things in your past. You have tried hard to forgive yourself. You have tried hard to leave the situation alone. Your soul screams with the need for a spiritual release yet fear is holding you back. I am here to tell you that it is time to let go. If only you can reach out to God one time, if only you can call out his name and ask him for forgiveness. If only you can allow him to make you whole, then you can truly start to move forward. Do not let the weight of what you have done keep you from the goodness God has in store for you. We were created to make mistakes and sin, we were created with flaws. Yet he loves us unconditionally. God still loves you no matter what you have done or what you have gone through. All he needs is your hands to reach out to him. Open your soul up and cry out to him today. He is waiting on you.